Religion

There is a certain happiness that surrounds someone when they find the things that bring them joy. For me, it was searching and reviewing and really coming to terms with my religion. Having been raised Roman Catholic, part of me is afraid to let go of how I really feel, and wonders if it is ok to feel anything different.

So, I took a world religion class. What was I expecting to find? A new religion? The answer? What would bring me closer to God? Is there a God? Am I supposed to know these things? Should I even be allowed to ask these things?

Well, people do ask, and I wanted to be one of them. The religions we cover and are covering are fascinating...all of them. I'm not sure I can grasp them all, but I understand them. I can see how one would feel this way or that about certain things. I can understand how someone who believes a certain way would find peace and fulfillment in the various religions.

But...where was my peace? Why can't I find the harmony that everyone else finds? Why, when I am praying just as hard, to the same God, can't I feel that fulfillment that everyone speaks of?

Now, I understand a bit more.

I wasn't being true to myself. I was doing what I thought was right, because you aren't allowed to think any other way (or, you'll suffer the ultimate consequences). What if I let everything that I know go, and find what makes me happy?

So, I did. I read a bit of this, and a bit of that, and finally, there was just this one part of this one book, and I felt...calm.

I looked into it more. I went to the bookstore, and picked up a pocket-size version of the book. I sat down, and read a chapter. Then another. Then another. It all made sense to me. Sure, it was way out there...like nothing I've ever read before, but it was...happiness.

It wasn't about finding this God, or believing that way, or doing this or doing that. It was about...being. Just being. I could make this part of my life, and bring what belief I find in my God, and make it a part of this. And then there was peace. And harmony.

And a few weeks later, less yelling. And more of an, "It's OK" feeling. And happiness. And I felt complete.

Now, keep in mind I don't know everything about this way of life. Nor will I be worshiping the author of the book. Nor am I insulting anyone else's religion or beliefs. And, of course, I don't expect you to believe the way I do, or read this book, or understand it the way I do. Whatever you feel, whatever you believe, whatever makes you happy and brings happiness to those around you, that is what you should be...or do.

I like what this brings me. I like the way I feel when I read this. I like the understanding, the open-ness, the love, peace, harmony and fulfillment that I'm finding within me now.

My answer? My way? My happiness? I'm finding it in Taoism. I'm reading the Tao Te Ching. HERE is one copy that I'm reading. There are many translations, of course, and I'm reading a couple side by side. They are virtually the same, but all bring me happiness.

Of course, this post, and all that it entails...and as much as I discuss here...it goes against the way of Tao. But, for some reason, people want to know why. They want to think I'm not crazy. They want to think that I'm not being anti-God. But they think, for all that this is, that I am.

And, I may be. But that's ok with me. I'm happy.

Be happy for me.




~The way to do is to be~